Where Are The Non-FFM Polyamorous Triads?
A common complaint I see on the internet when it comes to polyamory is, “Why is it always one man and two women?”
Let’s Talk About ‘Revenge Dating’ in Polyamory
I’ve come across a toxic phenomenon in the polyamory community which I would like to call “revenge dating”, which is when you date someone for the sole purpose of taking revenge on, or manipulating, someone else.
Apologies Are For Other People, Not For You
A strange thing happened to me the other day. I received a notification of a new message request, and opened it to find a lengthy message from a girl who I was at school with a decade ago.
“I am not sure if you remember me,” it said. “I’ve recently been in touch with my faith again, and in the past years have had many near death experiences, which has led me to realise that I don’t ever want to leave this earth without asking for forgiveness from those I’ve hurt…”
Emotional Libertarianism in Polyamory: Are We Responsible for Other People’s Feelings?
Emotional libertarianism, as defined by More Than Two, is “a belief that every individual is entirely responsible for his or her own emotional responses and that person’s behaviour is never the “cause” of another person’s emotion.”
What’s the Difference Between Polyamory, Polygamy, and Ethical Non-Monogamy?
Polyamory, polygamy, and ethical non-monogamy are conflated with each other all the time. This problem comes up quite often on my page and the Internet in general, so this post provides a full clarification as to what each term means, and why they are so often confused.
Why You Should Disclose Polyamory in Your Dating Profiles
A very common new-to-poly question that is asked in polyamorous circles is when and how to bring up that you’re polyamorous to a potential date. The answer, in my opinion, is and should always be basically immediately, no questions asked.
What Compersion Feels Like
Compersion is best defined as sympathetic joy. Simply put, it is the joy you feel when someone you love or care about is happy, even if their positive experience doesn’t have anything to do with you (or may not even benefit you). It’s a common word used in non-monogamous circles, first coined by the since-disbanded polyamorous Kerista commune in the early 1990s, specifically for the joy one feels when they see their partner being happy in their sexual or romantic relationship with someone else.
What Love Languages Do You Speak and Understand?
Knowing what love language your loved one is good at will help you with compassionately appreciating the effort they are putting into the relationship in other ways, even if the language they are speaking may not be your ‘mother tongue’.
Slut-Shaming in the Polyamorous Community
An unfortunate consequence of this “not all about the sex” stuff being thrown around is that a lot of polyamorous people end up accidentally slut-shaming those who do put sex as a priority in their relationships, or who engage in casual sex as well as romantic dating.
15 Common Red Flags in Polyamorous Relationships
A significant number of polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous people try to claim that polyamory is an “enlightened” or “evolved” form of doing relationships, but the truth is that there are crappy people in any relationship dynamic. Unfortunately, given the lack of education on how to do polyamory in a healthy way, many people abuse the label “polyamorous” and use it as an excuse for flat-out terrible behaviour.
Why Unicorn Hunting Doesn’t Work
Unicorn hunting is a practice which is very much frowned on in the poly community, but it is unfortunately depressingly common with people who are new to polyamory. Essentially, it’s what happens when a couple (usually a man and woman) seek out a “third” (usually a bisexual woman) to “add” to their relationship, where the couple is non-negotiably a package deal – the unicorn must date both of them, or neither of them – and usually with the additional demand that the unicorn must be exclusive to the couple to form a closed triad.
My Journey Into Polyamory
I did not go into polyamory out of a desire to fulfill unmet needs, but rather to explore connections with different people to their fullest potential, and not live in denial of the fact that being in a relationship does not necessarily have to impede attraction and connection with others. Giving up on monogamy was the best choice I ever made.